Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Flash! Ahhh-ahhh! Savior of...um...well...hmm...


Flash Gordon. A multi-media, multi-generational phenomenon. Well...at least he used to be.

A product of the funny pages in the late 30s, Flash was well-written & beautifully drawn by Alex Raymond. If you've never seen these strips, check em out. They are a four color window into the Depression with sharp allegories to the era. The chief villain, Ming the Merciless, was a dictator in the mold of the real-life growing threat of Adolf Hitler. Lavishly drawn, it was easily translated to the big screen in a series of Saturday morning serials starring Buster Crabbe.

For all their simplistic effects & ham-handed dialogue, the serials are fun to watch and, for the most part, exciting (which is the point behind these cliffhangers in general). There were also radio serials. In the days before TV, these were all the rage. From what my father has told me, he & his friends raced home to hear the latest adventures of the Lone Ranger, Superman and, yes, Flash Gordon. It's a lot like it was depicted in A Christmas Story with Ralphie & his devotion to the similar comics to radio show Little Orphan Annie.

As a kid in the 70s, I listened to a local radio station that broadcast various radio shows from the 30s & 40s as a cheap way of filling evening airtime. I was hooked. It was theater of the mind. It's my firm belief that, in those pre-Star Wars days, these dramas helped me build and cultivate a vivid imagination that aids me to this day in my career as a graphic designer.

Next, there were two, practically simultaneous versions. One was a well done Filmation Cartoon that used elements from all previous incarnations. It was presented in a Saturday Cliffhanger style. I recently picked these up on DVD and they hold up quite well (although skip the second season when a cute baby dragon was added for the "awwww factor".)

The second and most indelible of all is Dino DeLaurentis' 1980 adaptation. Cheesy (in a "we did it in our basement" effects style), Funny (both intentionally & unintentionally) and bizarre (thanks to the over the top "score" by Queen). Bad acting, Ham acting and, occasionally no acting, this movie was panned at the time and died...uh...mercilessly at the box office.

I loved it. Not because it was a great piece of art but probably because, even then, I appreciated the camp aspect. There are numerous filmed examples of camp such as Marx Brothers movies, Monty Python or the TV show Green Acres, But, arguably camp was not as finely executed as it was in the 1966 Adam West Batman series. The perfect blend of daring do & tongue in cheek. The show's script supervisor was a seasoned TV writer named Lorenzo Semple, Jr. Semple used the opportunity to run amuk using his imagination & bizarre sense of humor to bring about a unique and hilarious spin on the subject matter.

Why is this relevant? The writer of Flash Gordon was one Lorenzo Semple, Jr. The difference is...the producers of Batman knew about camp. I'm not entirely sure DeLaurentis got the memo. Either way...the movie left an impression on me. One that is apparently shared since Flash has grown in it's status as a cult classic. Deservedly so.

So what brought this whole subject up? As mentioned before, my mind is a microcosm of strange facts, irrelevant trivia and sarcasm. It's a place cartoon characters and political figure meet for happy hour. But, for once, I'm not directly to blame for this diatribe. If you want to blame someone...blame the Sci-Fi channel.

Recently, Sci-Fi premiered a...cough cough...re-imagining of Flash Gordon. How can something with such a great and storied history be condensed into such a boring and pointless show? The acting makes the 1980 movie look Oscar-worthy. Flash is bland, Dale is annoying and Zarkov looks like they found him at the local DeVry campus . Additionally, the villain should be re-named Ming the Mildly Annoyed. The guy looks like an out of work Golf Pro. He's a sinister as a can of Beeferoni.

No Hawkmen. No Lionmen. Not even a stinkin' Lizardman! No visible link to anything from the rich history of the character. The show could be called Ted Gordon. There's no...um...Flash. The show just stinks. The promos even use the Queen theme song to lead one to believe the two adaptations are related. Not so.

Attention all Film & TV producers: Anytime something is "re-imagined" you strip away most if not all of what make the character or property appealing. Occasionally, this can work (see: Battlestar Galactica ) but usually it fails miserably (see: well...pretty much every other re-imagining). Things can be updated with subtle changes but once you excise major elements willy nilly...you make something unrecognizable to existing fans. This is why, say James Bond can't be re-imagined as a woman. Ian Fleming created a specific character. Bond's success is based on the template Fleming created. If you want a lady spy...create something new. The same with Flash Gordon. You want to make some hodge podge, inter-dimensional sci fi saga. Use your own characters. Leave Raymond's Space Adventurer out of it.


Don't make me get the bore worms...

5 comments:

EegahInc said...

Sooooo, does this mean you're not looking forward to the new Bionic Woman in which the professional teacher has been re-imagined as a college drop-out working as a bartender?

Mr. Doob said...

As with all things like this...I'll give it a chance. I've actually seen The BW pilot. It was okay. Certainly much better than Ted Gordon. But, once again, they could have called it "Robot Lady with a Martini" & it would have made more sense. The original was tightly woven to accompany the 6 Million Dollar Man. Theres no such relationship here. Worst of all....no Fembots!

Wm. said...

Sorry to come to this so late. I haven't added Doob's blog to my RSS feed until today.

Anyway, I'm disappointed to hear about Flash but somewhat relieved that I don't have to start watching another show.

Oh Flash. Where else do you get a movie where the main character wears a shirt with his own name splashed across the front?

Where else do you get Shakespearian actors flying around crying "Fly on my brave Hawkmen!"

Where else do you get a villian who is introduced to his new "plaything" as "Earth" but already has a button labeled "Earthquake" on his dashboard (Huh?)

Where else do you get an onscreen orgasm radioed in by the villian that's "pretty amazing"?

Where else do you get a baddie cast because of how hot she was even though she couldn't really speak english? "Damn you fada! Damn you!"

Needless to say, I love Flash. Every frame. And it's got one of the best credit sequences ever done. Seriously.

Mr. Doob said...

On the 80s Flash movie...the greater indignity is that the actor playing Flash had his voice dubbed. No reason was given. Yet, Ming's daughter's voice got a pass? "Damn you Fada!" Indeed.

Mr. Doob said...

P,S.-Let's not forget that there is also buttons for Hot Hail (which is...um..what exactly? Flaming ice balls?), Tornado ( a word of spanish origin)& both Hurricane AND Typhoon (which are kinda the same thing). Obviously, these are both part of normal weather pattens universe-wide. And Mongo is also, Lizard Men not withstanding, multi-cultural.