Late Again...um...Still

Still...the poor Blog of Doob is sitting quietly, Covered in cobwebs, smelling musty.

A lesser man would close up shop. But, I will prevail. I will not quit. So enjoy the vid below while I devise a strategy to get me off my lazy rear.

It's 2011 and I'm still behind....

I WILL get back to this blog. It was one of my New Years Resolutions. In the meantime... enjoy this dulcet tone from an underrated musician, Papa Nez:

In an effort to post more frequently...a blast from my past!

I know it's hard to believe but I was once a prankster. As usual, it was typically something that amused only me. If other people dug it...BONUS! In the summer of 1987, I was working at a small radio station in the quaint hamlet of Brunswick, GA.

At the time, there were 6 or so radio stations in town. One, in particular, was the pinnacle of old school radio. The station played music that made elevators weep. But it's bread & butter was a little "talk show" called Open Mic. It's host was the stalwart John Lane. For a show that was a community interest show that craved opinion, Mr. Lane gave none. His comments were typically given on one side of the topic then , suddenly, he'd give the other side. it gave the impression that he had no opinion & was, quite possibly, conflicted. Having met the man a few times, I can also add that he really didn't have a sense of humor.

To top it all off, it was a rite of passage for the town's other DJ's to prank call the show & see if the caller could get through without laughing or being cut off. Bonus points were given for slang or innuendo.

The following was my opening salvo in what would become a memorable summer & the birth of a local folk hero...Fred C. Dobbs.

Enjoy....

Am I really gonna do this just once a year....

How soon we forget. Truth be told, I'm sure some shiny object glimmered on the horizon and I was transfixed.

That's just a glossy way of saying..."wait. I have a blog?"

After all the good intentions and mea culpas of the Facebook post...I forgot again. At least I'm consistent.

There is no defense. I should probably leave Post It's around the office. Not with those cheesy affirmational/motivational Oprah-style missives but the more apt "Hey Stupid!" reminders.

I always have lots to say on a variety of subjects. I need to get busy and spread the wealth of useless knowledge that I possess in mass quantity.

This is me, Good Ol' Doob, doing my best Neil Armstrong. I am planting my flag on this site and vowing that it is my one small step.

Better yet...I am McArthur. "I Shall return!"

I... hey...look at that shiny object......

Facebook and the Laziness of a Blog

Lazy.

Just plain lazy.

This blog, once a bastion of my insights, desires, ramblings and other fluidly transposed what-not, has gone unattended for a VERY long while. In that time, a veritable eternity, time has not stood still. Many changes. A new Prez (yuck). A growth in my business (yay!) while others are losing their jobs (boo!). And, the dawn of Facebook.

Facebook. The old Facey McFace. The good ol' FB.

A tool to let everyone know every step you take...every move you make. The Police would not have needed to write that song in this modern age. Just sign on to FB. "Oh...she's doing her nails." Sting would discover. Is FB the death of romance or the 21st century solution to stalking? The jury is still out. They're busy updating their status.

That being said...of course I have a Facebook account!! Where else can I discover what my Science lab partner form 1983 is doing? Forget that I haven't seen him in 20+ years. As long as I know he is drinking a beer while watching the sun set...the earth will continue to spin on it's axis.

As has been posted here before, the creation of this blog was simply because Google required that I sign up for an account to reply on other folks' blogs. That was my modus operandi. Swoop in, make a snarky or offensive comment, then swoop out. De-swoop? Disinswoop? Retroswoop? Sigh. Once I signed up...the blog was the next logical step. An outlet. It was also fun & a bit therapeutic. I still can't read the Lucy post without tearing up.

Enter Facebook. It's technically a gateway drug. You get there. See posts from The Ghosts of Christmas Past & Present. And you're compelled to contribute. It's downright impossible not to. Once you do...you're inundated with 'friend' requests. Good manners dictate that you accept a hand outstretched in friendship. Even a virtual one. I currently have 255 friends. Now, if hard pressed...I'm not sure if I talk to 255 people in a year outside of work. Again, a lot of these are from the distant past where, to be honest, I tended to make the occasional impression here & there. Additionally, it has become a major source for my news exposure(!). It was there I found out about Michael Jackson's death, check on Braves' scores and other "important events"

Best of all...it's designed for the snarky comment. My stock in trade. My forte. My creative spark. Again, impossible to resist. But in my snarky revelry...The Blog of Doob has not only been dormant but non-existent. The sad thing is...I actually enjoy writing. Emails & Texting have done a Tonya Harding to the written word. Americans' grasp of the English language was tenuous at best. Now, we are succumbing to the LOL/LMFAO/BTW/:) form of prose. Let's all say it together...awwww. This blog kept me, in a small way, from becoming literarily and mentally stagnant.

With that in mind..I'll consider my past absence from this blog my mulligan. I will pledge to return here more frequently... if only to free my mind of cumbersome yet important thoughts. Ones that can't be contained in a mere Facebook reply space. Trust me...I've tried.

Plus...here I can delete the replys to my posts I don't like without deleting the post itself. Comforting. Because...after all..it is all about me.

It's the Economy, Stu..um.. Darlin'!

I recently got this post on my facebook page. It was in response to my off-the-cuff blurb" The Doobie thinks the only change Obama wants is the stuff in my pockets. Then he'll go after the folding money. "

"Wow, then congratulations are in order. That means your household makes over $250k a year! Go you guys! See, because everyone under that amount will have MORE money in their pockets. Power to the middle class! Finally!"

Now the person who wrote this is a lovely person. Very kind, giving, thoughtful. An all around great person.

Unfortunately, even awesome people can be convinced that ubiquitous "change" is the answer. (i.e. They can be wrong).

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You see, I don't make that much. it would be reeeaaaly nice if I did. But, as I replied on Facebook: "As a small business owner, my business earns a good deal more than I pay myself (due to operating expenses, overhead, etc). My tax filing is a Sole Proprietor. S corps , etc have far more restrictions. There are just too many benefits that fit my situation. So,that is the most economically feasible classification at this time. but, EVERYTHING my business earns is seen as PERSONAL Income. Mr Obama & his cronies don't see that distinction or don't care. To them...I'm "RICH". They will increase my tax liability to that of 37.9% up to 50%" (these are not arbitrary numbers. the info came from many places but is crystallized here: http://dyn.politico.com/printstory.cfm?uuid=0E92FEE0-3048-5C12-0002330C2A831238. )

"By all means, let's penalize success. Let's say sure...achieve the American Dream but then, we'll punish you for it. I learned a long time ago the flashiest, prettiest car isn't necessarily the best car. I could always close up my business. That'd show em. No Obama is not only the wrong choice but an expensive one. But thanks for asking."

But what if I did make that much? If so, it would be through hard work, toil, investment in time & money, etc. It's not because I got a visit from the Cash Fairy. Liberals see success as something actionable. "How Dare you succeed! others are suffering" I care about my fellow man & make charitable contributions like a responsible citizen...but where does it say I'm required to make everyone's life wonderful? There was a society that preached Universal Healthcare, Caps on income. Where capitalism was discarded and where all income was funneled back to the government for the "common good". It was created in 1922 under a gentleman named Vladmir Lenin. A police state. A socialist society where workers had no rights. I'm not ready for such a society to become the letter of the law here. i never will be. No. I have to line up on the side of more personal responsibility. More financial responsibility. Hard work leads to great reward. I know my needs better than outsiders or politicians. Why would I leave my welfare up to strangers? And Sharing the "wealth"? The more successful I become...jobs are created. the more I make...the more I contribute to organizations like Special Olympics, American Cancer Society, etc. That's how you grow an economy. That's how you help others.

There are many issues I have with McCain. He was not my first choice. But further down the list, after Brittany Spears and Daffy Duck is Barry Obama. The guy is so eager to please that he'll say whatever is expedient to get elected. Sure...politicians do that. But the guy has ZERO experience in ANYTHING. He has 145 days in the US Senate. Would you hire a lawyer or doctor with that amount of experience? I'm sure they'd do their best but there are things that experience gives you that eagerness and lofty wishes does not. Charisma does not solve problems.

Universal healthcare? It's a program that is breaking both Canada & the UK. It allows for a shoddy, over-crowded, under-funded system. People will suffer far more that under the current program. Plus, where does the money come from? The magic $250 grand club can only pay so much. Such a grand plan is guaranteed to raise ALL taxes. No matter where they come from...a physician's time is not free. And if it becomes so...what corners would have to be cut to make them comply to the system? Questions.

Energy? I'm all for Boone Pickens plan. Problem is...what do you do on no/low wind days? Easy...use existing energy (battery backup, etc) to power it. Yep. The wind...she don't blow everyday. What about the millions of oil using cars currently on the road? What happens to those? Is the government going to retrofit them all to burn cleaner energy? What's the cost? Where does this money come from? Most likely, raising taxes but i can see the govt. offering tax breaks for those that comply. What about the lower middle class & the poor? How do they get their clean energy cars? Again...the money has to come from somewhere. Questions.

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The reason that there is a US (and by extension international) energy crunch is that a Democratic Congress halted a large percentage of US exploration & farmed it out overseas. owls were saved but costs were incurred. You have raw crude purchasing and import costs. Then there's taxes on the gas. States get roughly .28 per Gallon. The US Govt gets about .18 per gallon. The oil companies? Yes...there are production costs to make raw crude user friendly but the Oil companies do purchase, refine & distribute the fuel. That aint cheap. Don't they deserve something for their efforts? Should they just give it away? I'm more concerned with the taxation. What exactly does the govt do in this transaction? Oh yeah...they LET us buy it. If drilling can be resumed here...the supply will drive the cost down and allow funding for exploration of hydrogen, nuclear and other alternatives.

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A "Windfall Profit" tax like Obama proposes will drive costs even higher, cost jobs and limit our ability to explore other options. And who determines what is "too much" money for the Oil Companies to make? What happens if Pickens plan becomes successful? You don't think the Govt will tax wind? They'll find a way. Further more, not re-establishing our own oil drilling program means money can continue to fund terrorist supporting countries overseas. Money that helped make 9-11 happen. How is drilling not a winning proposition? Supply & demand. Increased supplies forces pricing down. Pres. Bush announces an Executive lifting of the drilling ban & the price magically dropped. Coincidence? OPEC makes the rules now. We can change the game easily. So why not drill? Questions.

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I support all energy exploration. Everything. But right now...we need oil to run things. That part CAN'T be changed easily. Questions.

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There are many other reasons...and there are MANY. Simply put: Obama's platform is flawed. It penalizes success while championing mediocrity. What he explains makes no fiscal or financial sense. But far more troubling is what he can't explain. Change. Change what? Change how? Change when? How Much? For who? His answers cause more questions and, in hard economic times, consumers don't need to pay more. And it wont just be the "Rich".

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It's popular to bash the President. He's not perfect. But the problems we face are not solely on his shoulders. the Democratic Congress controls a lot of these issues (see the no vote on drilling for proof). But it's easier to focus on just one target. Then explain to me why congress has a lower approval rating than he? People do know the truth. You just have to coax it out of them.

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A little known fact is that I have strong political beliefs. I don't share them often because Conservatives are demonized but the press as war-mongering, rich folk who hate the poor & are racists. Nothing is further from the truth. I was liberal when I was younger. But, now that I've worked hard, made a life & have begun to create a future for my family...I see how easily someone can take it away with the stroke of a pen. All to make the world "better". And done, Without my having any say so in the matter. But in this election, we all have a says so. Don't buy into "Change" as an all encompassing placebo. THINK about what to change, how that gets done & what are the consequences. often, It's not as simple as the politicians make it seem. No I'm not rich. I'm middle class. And I'd like it to stay that way. But I do aspire to greater things eventually. And for me to have that opportunity, Obama's "Change" will take more than I can give.

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And as for my kind friend who started me on this diatribe? She's still an awesome person. One of the best. A valued friend. She has every right to her opinion. But so do I. :)

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And with that...my soapbox is holstered. For now.

In The Spirit of The Election Season...

I have decided to use my evil powers for good by designing & selling (at a modest sum) t-shirts bearing the design below:

Is it art? That's Subjective. But I think it says what needs to be said.

I created the Choose Wisely '08 brand (and it's accompanying website) as an outlet to vent my frustration at the messianic tenor that the depicted candidate's campaign has come to display. Apparently, someone's reading his own press & believes he's the Savior of The Universe. As we all know...that's Flash Gordon. So where does the Big O get off?

Feel free to support the cause at http://www.choosewisely08.com/ . You know you want to.

Free enterprise. It's what this country's all about. At least it should be.

Back To Four

It took some time.

A lot longer than I had anticipated.

The memory of Lucy still lingers to this day. There were times where I caught myself staring at an empty spot on the floor for what seemed like hours. Imagining her there. Missing her.

My wife missed her too. It was tougher for her, at times, so soon after the loss of her Father. There were some really tough days and nights. To be honest, we both were pretty much stunned, hurt & dazed for quite a while.

Then there was Belle. The one who shared nearly every moment of every day with Lucy. She hung her head lower and often laid on Lucy's pillow. Obviously mourning the loss of her valued friend. Her sister.

But, as the Beatle song goes..."Life goes on within you & without you."

I think we all needed a sea-change.

And then there was Addie.

On a sunny Sunday afternoon, the three of us (myself, Ellen & Belle) ventured out to a local PetSmart. It was adoption day. Dozens of homeless, often abandoned or abused, dogs sat in their individual pens awaiting a "get out of jail free" card. None really leapt out as "the perfect choice". A couple were cute enough. But one caught our attention. Her name was Irene. While most dogs barked, played and did...you know...dog stuff, Irene sat in her cage napping. Maybe she had been to a few of these & figured "let the chips fall where they may... I need a nap".

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She was small, around eight months old and a mixed breed. After interrupting her slumber, we took her to the side to see how she and Belle reacted to one another. We figured that Lucy was the dominant dog and Belle might like the new playmate to be smaller. This would allow Belle to "graduate" into the role of head honcho. They seemed to like one another. Checking each other out. The typical sniff-a-rama. Not much was known of Irene's life before being rescued. Probably for the best. But she had a nice disposition, had all of her shots & was recently spayed. After much hand wringing and reed thin consideration of other dogs, we made the decision. Irene was coming home.

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Two things would have to be done. One...the name. Irene was the name of my wife's beloved grandmother. While on the surface, it seemed like a nice homage. But, we thought a clean slate was in order. We decided to name her Addison or Addie for short. The second...we couldn't fall into the trap of comparing her to Lucy. Lucy was a one in kazillion dog. Sweet, quiet and easy going.

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Addie is the complete polar opposite.

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Oh she's sweet. Cute. Lovable. But I have never seen such an energetic dog. She's 14 lbs of solid muscle, wants to play at 4am and that idea about Belle being the dominant dog? Nice theory. Nobody told Addie. But they play throughout the day. At least until Belle decides she's had enough and retires to her kennel for a little peace & quiet. But Belle was happy again. We all were.

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It took us all a while to get acclimated. Addie too. But a few weeks, a pair of chewed tennis shoes and a little lost sleep later...

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The new family dynamic is firing on all cylinders.

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And somewhere Lucy is smiling.

Yeah...I'm just not that interesting.

So...

it's been quite a while since I've updated the ol' bloggy Mcblog. More than a few times, I've thought about taking pen to paper (or is that cursor to screen) and composing my thoughts on Global Warming (scam) or the upcoming Presidential election (bigger scam). I just haven't been so inclined as of yet. Perhaps after my vacation...

What I will do is share a recent video I happened across. I found this via USA Today's entertainment blog, Pop Candy. Pop Candy is a great place to go to check out all things pop culture. Music, Movies, TV, Books... all groovy things. Short and to the point. It's blogoriffic! Right up my alley.

But the video...

As I commented on a few blogs back, I really dig the BBC TV show, Doctor Who. It is nearing the end of it's current season and can be seen in the US on the Sci-Fi Channel (I'm sure the channel's marketing department would prefer I just call it SCI-FI but that's not how I roll. I'm a rule-breaker). This season is as good as...if not better...than last season. It's well written, well acted and well executed. So much so, that my wife has become hooked on the show. She typically hates all things Science Fiction. With. a. passion. Proof positive: She has never seen any of the Star Wars films and will happily tell you so. She just doesn't get it. She doesn't want to. Period. And that's cool. In the same vein...I'll never get the allure of Sex and the City. Some things shall remain a mystery. But Doctor Who. This show...she digs. There's just something about it...

But the video...

David Tennant is the current Doctor. If the previous sentence confuses you, I'll refer you to Wikipedia for a summation of the show's history. In an episode from last season, the Doctor is forced into hiding by an alien race called the Family of Blood. The Doctor tells his companion, Martha Jones, that those who are pursuing him could trace him across the universe, and he must undergo a transformation to escape certain doom. It seems his pursuers have a short life-span & seek to kill the Doctor, absorb his immortality and conquer the universe. You know...the little things. To "hide", The Doctor plans to transform into a human (he's not one, you know) for three months, by which time, his pursuers should all be dead. His Time Lord essence is stored in a pocket watch and Martha is charged with guarding it. A side effect of the transformation is that he will have no memory of who he is, who Martha is and the jeopardy he is in. They will also hide their time machine, the TARDIS, until the danger has passed. The place he has chosen to hide...1918 England in a boy's military academy. I gotta hand it to him. That's the last place I'd look. It is a two part episode, Human Nature and The Family of Blood. Both great episodes!!

But the video...

With his memory gone, the Doctor leaves a video for Martha. It is a list of things for her to remember while they are in hiding. On screen, The Doctor gets through four items. But Martha's attention is diverted. The video continues to play in the background, while Freema Agyeman, as Martha, does various thing in the foreground. Apparently, the filmmakers needed Tennant to continue "the list" as background filler. Obviously, the audio to this was not played in it's entirety. I just find it amazing that Tennant appears to visually continue with the list while interjecting some pretty hilarious and impressive stream of consciousness to complete the scene.

Okay!! Okay!! the video....




So there you have it. I'll say it again... The show is excellent! You should check it out. Is it for everyone? Of course not. Just like Monty Python, Bangers & Mash, Rugby and The Sex Pistols aren't for everyone.

But wouldn't it be a groovy world if it was?

Except maybe Rugby. I just don't get the Rugby.

Not my best post ever but still completely satisfying.

To me.

And, in the end, it IS all about me.

Okay! Okay! I'm Awake Already! An Ode to Dulcet Tones and Good Friends.

In my many years on this planet, I've been blessed quite a few times. I have great parents. Certainly not Ward & June (who let's face it were boring) but without a doubt...very awesome parents. I have a wonderful wife that puts up with my annoying quirks & interests. Sure...there's the occasional eye roll but it's done with love. An awesome job that makes me feel business savvy. Belle & Lucy who we've discussed. But I also have some pretty incredible friends.

As with most people, my friends display common interests with me. There's Bill V. who knows the upwards & downwards of movies and excellent (and most often undiscovered) music. There's David I. with the love of B-Movies, Comics & Theology. There's Keith who marvels me with his creativity & design prowess. Jody shares my love of Football & Beer (not necessarily in that order). Astor is a great sounding board, animation aficionado and all around good guy. Tony is a strong businessman and stealthy prankster. Brian is a bit of a prankster too but also one of the kindest souls you'll ever meet. David L is my oldest & dearest friend whom I've shared many confidences & adventures (not necessarily in that order). Of course, there's more to these friends & our friendships than what I've stated here but for more info...you have to come to poker night. And our wives...they're so awesome...they might just get their own post. But back to the task at hand...

The next friend on deck is Brent...

Brent is, put simply, a genius. With that statement...now HE'S rolling his eyes (As you may have gathered...I get that a lot from people). He is without a doubt a truly great guy. Knows exactly what to say to make me laugh. Knows what record to put on to make me tilt my head (much like a dog hearing a high pitched whistle that signals something good is coming-Think Pavlov with three part harmony).Was my long suffering roommate during my Athens years. But, even beyond that...He's also a incredibly skilled musician & songwriter.

Through hard work, personal toil & outright unbelievable skill, Brent released his debut CD/LP "Brent Cash : How Will I Know If I'm Awake" on the Marina Label. He poured his heart, soul & an occasional harp into this masterpiece & every drop of talent shows through.

I have delayed trumpeting this album due to our friendship. Selfish? Most likely. But I wanted Brent to get a taste of the lavish praise others outside of our circle of friends would heap upon him. In years past, both Brent & David L. (also another tremendously talented musician/songwriter) were difficult to convince that I was not being a "yes man" to the songs they played for me. I truly liked them from a musical enjoyment stand point. Trust me...I can be painfully honest and am not any easy "sell". If Don Johnson were a close personal friend, I would have advised him against recording Heartbeat and stick to the day job. You know you would too. But I Digress...

If you haven't heard it, go to www.brentcash.net. Give a listen by pressing the 'Sounds' link. What you'll hear is music made like it hasn't been in some time. No Phony hi-tech wizardry. Actual Instruments. Well Crafted Songs. High Quality Production.

Some have said that the songs sound as if they are from another era. I can understand that somewhat. But only by the virtue that they are created with the mindset and intent that has long been missing in the Music Biz. ..."What it has in common music of the 60s & 70s is the craftsmanship & artistry that was given to the songs...even innocuous three minute odes to love. Brent delivers songs like 'Only Time', 'Everything That's Grey' 'Digging The Fault Line' and 'Good Morning Sunshine' that display a similar creative mindset. Even my current favorite 'This Sea, These Waves' displays all the vibe of a classic Bossa Nova song by Jobim. But, there are also songs that defy the "Sunshine Pop" label like 'And Had We Ever', 'More Than Everything' and the incredible duet 'Love Is Burning Down Tonight ". Ok. At least that's what YOURS TRULY eloquently stated at amazon.com. Bashful I aint.

However, it was described best by Bill V. The album "sounds like a Sunday Afternoon." Quite right. So if you don't have it...get it. Brent Cash How Will I Know If I'm Awake is available at most retail outlets like: amazon.com, Barnes & Noble or cd universe.Get it on CD, mp3 download or the ever groovy White Vinyl LP.

I'm as proud as I could be. Brent has created a critically praised pop masterpiece. Congrats Brent & Well done!!

I've always said that I have brothers & sisters that I was born with. They're great folks that I don't see enough of. But, I also have a family that I chose. My Mates. We Band of Brothers. We haven't fought in any wars but I'm sure there's a story or two that would instantly perm your hair.

Now...it's time to get David L. back in the studio. Once that's done, I might be able to finish my novel.

I have a novel? In due time good peoples...In good time.

#2 in a series: Yes...I'm easily amused

In a continued effort to display things that outright crack me up...

I present the following:



Again. It might not be your cup of tea. I, however, think it's comic genius. Even funnier (to me), it's been labeled as Dramatic Squirrel on YouTube. Now, I'm no zoologist...but that aint no stinkin' squirrel. The first time I saw this, I'm fairly sure Diet Coke came out of my nose.

That's the trouble with blogs. In the end...it's all about me.

And now for Something Completely Different...

I needed to lighten up the mood here at the ol Blog o' Doob TM.

On my good friend Bill's Blog (The White Whale), there was discussion of great themesongs/opening titles of TV shows. It's certainly a lost art. Bill has made no secreti in the past about his affinity for the opening of The Streets of San Francisco (A Quinn Martin Production TM). It's true. It's pretty Great. The same could be said for a lot of Quinn Martin shows of the 60s & 70s. Ironside, Barnaby Jones, Mannix. The guy must have OWNED TV back then. I even think Quincy had a pretty clever intro. So I went to You Tube TM to refresh my memory.

Lo & behold...I found this:



Those who know me realize that this pretty much laid waste to me for a good half an hour. I've never been known for a highly evolved sense of humor. I like the easy laugh. I like the cheap laugh.

This Theme Song with lyrics is both.

I just wish I'd had done it.

Farewell

The end of 2007 proved to be a blur for yours truly. I never had a chance to get back to this blog & address any relevant (or irrelevant) issues. Now we are here in 08. And things haven't gotten any easier.
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I begin the new years' blog on a sad note as I mark the passing of a beloved friend.
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Lucy.
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In our ten years of marriage, my wife & I have yet to venture into the world of parenthood. Nothing against it mind you...it just hasn't felt right. Yet. We have, instead, chose to dote on two wonderful dogs as if they were human. This is an affectation that, in my youth, I found a bit silly. However, the years, while not making me wiser, have made me an occasional softy. I say this not as an excuse but as a declaration. Put simply: I. was. wrong.
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Our first furry child is Belle. We adopted her not long after we were married. She has been spoiled beyond belief, treated as an equal in household decisions and has been known to delicately drive me from my own bed because she "didn't have enough room". For years, she was enough for us as my wife & I became more familiar with being married and the nuances that accompanied that union.
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Jump ahead five years. Our family of three moved from a middle floor apartment to a two story home. Nice neighborhood, spacious floor plan and, of course, a fenced backyard. It seemed like a lot of room for three but we liked it that way.
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Enter Lucy.
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Lucy was a stray who happened to wander up to my friend David's home one afternoon . She was a very friendly dog that looked as though she had been on her own for some time. After much searching for her owner and pleas to other dog-friendly homes (mine included), David & his wife decided to give her a home. She was happy there and received a lot of attention & love. The vet estimated her age, at the time, to be around 8 or 9 years old. All was well. However, there was a slight snag on the horizon. Lucy's new parents had booked a trip to Hawaii in the Fall and would need reliable dog sitting services. How could I refuse?
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From the minute Lucy hit our doorstep, she & Belle became fast friends. Running, playing...you know...dog stuff. They sat close to one another most of the time and followed each other everywhere. It seemed so odd that two complete strangers could get on so well. When her visit was coming to an end, my wife & I devised a plan. We offered to pick up David & the missus from the airport...then spring our trap. They weren't in the car for a minute when I began the preliminary small talk. "How was the Flight?" " How was the weather in Hawaii?" "How much do you want for your dog?"
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Small talk has never been my strong suit.
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Suffice to say, after a little haggling, we were able to adopt Lucy and give Belle an apparently much needed companion. And Lucy took to her new surroundings as if she knew it was where she was meant to be. Her favorite thing to do was to wander into the furthest reaches of the backyard, out of view, leaving the uninitiated to wonder if she'd somehow escaped the fence. That's caused more than it's fair share of cursing when Lucy would slyly saunter over the hill witha "What's all the fuss?" air about her.
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Additionally, Definite lines were drawn. While Belle had always seemed to cozy more closely with my wife, Lucy instantly became Daddy's girl. If I were to get up & go to the other room, she would soon follow. Perhaps she knew of my penchant for mischief if left unattended. Maybe it was because I was one of the first people she met in her new life. It could be that she knew I was a soft touch. Whatever the reason, she sat by me in the office, on the couch and in the car. When I got up...she got up. When I went to bed...so did she. We were inseparable. The four of us...one big happy family.
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It was this way for years. Lots of Joy. Lots of Fun. Lots of Love.
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In the past year or two, as she got older, she slowed some, developed an occasional cough and began to show signs of aging. As we would with a child, we nursed her back to health each time with varying degrees of success. However, in the past year, the rebounds became farther apart. It is a hard thing to stomach when the staff at the vet's office knows you on sight. In July, she had a minor seizure. From that point on, she seemed to slow even more. Sleeping more. Playing less. Following less frequently. I began to have to carry her upstairs. In November, she had become considerably sick to the point where we almost cancelled our holiday trip to see relatives. But, she rebounded enough to where she could travel and experience a White Christmas. It was nice to see her walking through the snow with Belle nearby. .

After the new year, she began to slow even more. She had stopped eating and began to have difficulty standing or walking on slick surfaces. We were cautiously optimistic. She had bounced back so many times before. But we were also realistic. On Friday, she gave us hope. She seemed more alert. A little more energetic. She walked to the farthest reaches of the backyard again....something she hadn't done in weeks. She sat next to me attentive. She curled up next to me in the office. It was like "old times".Again...we were hopeful. It turned out...she was saying goodbye.
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On Saturday, she regressed. So much so, that we decided to take her to the Emergency clinic hoping to get her some relief. Something told us that we should bring Belle if only for moral support. It proved to be support that WE would need. It was discovered that Lucy had an enlarged heart and was experiencing congestive heart failure. They feared that she might go into cardiac arrest at any time. We decided that she shouldn't suffer any more. It is one of the most difficult decisions I've ever had to make.
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Lucy Silva died on Saturday January 12, 2008 surrounded by her family. She went quietly surrounded by love which is all anyone could ask. She was a kind, loving & brave soul who will be missed terribly. I thank God for sending her our way and commend her soul to His loving care. I couldn't have loved her more if she were my own flesh & blood.
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For you, Lucy. Simply, Thanks.

Rock Hall of Fame...AGAIN?!!! Will They EVER get it right?

Maybe I'm just uninspired but I seem to keep returning to the same well. What the hey...it's MY blog...

It's that time again. Woo Hoo! The deities on high at the Mock & Droll Hall of Fame have wielded their scepters & found more "worthy" acts for inclusion in their club. Such acts as Madonna, Beastie Boys, Donna Summer, John "Cougar" Mellencamp and Chic. The Ventures and The Dave Clark Five are also nominated but, most likely, won't make the cut because their not "hip" enough or perhaps Dave Clark stole Jann Whiner's lunch money.

I've covered the Monkees' dance card with the Hall...but, who else has gotten the Heisman?



This song is one of my favorites. Any reason for this group to be passed over is downright dumb. Of course, maybe it's because they don't have the toe-tapping catalog of say Afrika Bambaataa or, at any time, possessed a License To Ill.

Once again proving...the Hall is run by empty-headed elitists. Maybe it's time to depose 'Little Napoleon' Wenner and put someone in charge who actually knows something about music. Any kid who can play chopsticks on a piano has the edge over him. Just a Thought.

The Best Show You're Probably Not Watching...and Shame On You.

One of my previous posts singled out a practice in the world of film named "re-imagining". The target of my ire was one "Trash Gordon" television program. I've since given the show a few more opportunities to redeem itself. It failed miserably. Particularly when it re-imagined The Hawkmen as 1) the not so cleverly renamed Dactyls (as in Ptero...) and 2) without wings.

Uh huh. See ya.

Conversely, I am quite pleased with a show that continues to get better & better. It is a show that is currently turned 44.

Kinda.

Doctor Who premiered on the BBC in 1963. It ran uninterrupted until 1989. A few movies aired sporatically over the next few years. Then, in 2005, the Brits jump-started the show again &
it continues to this day.

The premise of the show is, basically, a Time Lord, known simply as The Doctor (the last survivor of his race), travels through time with a human companion (most often an attractive female) and adventure & hi jinks ensue. He travels through time in a machine called a TARDIS (the machine once possessed the capability to change it's look to blend into it's surroundings but has become stuck in it's current form...an old fashioned Police Call box). One of the clever aspects of a show with Doctor Who's longevity (737 episodes have been filmed to date), is that The Doctor can regenerate himself completely changing his appearance & mannerisms. Effectively transforming into a different person with the same memories. Brilliant. This creative device allowed The Doctor to be portrayed by 10 different actors over the years. No re-imagining. Just CLEVER writing.

The Doctor first came to my attention in the 70s. The Doctor at the...um...time...played by Tom Baker (he of the multi -colored scarf & brown messy mop of hair). Until recently, he was the most popular actor to inhabit the role and enjoyed quite a bit of success. I would catch it late nights on the local PBS station. The show had cheesy effects and occasional wooden acting but it was always well written. It was one of those British Sci-Fi havens of the 70s (like Space 1999...equally cheesy).

I began watching the recent incarnation when it began to show on...gasp!...the previously maligned Sci-Fi Channel. The show started slowly but the effects were no longer cheesy. Since it decided to embrace what came before...the hit & miss nature was understandable. Forty odd years of history gradually seeped it's way into the show culminating into an unforeseen Doctor change at the end of the return season.

Enter David Tennant.

Tennant is one of those actors who can be very funny one minute & become somber and introspective the next. As Jon Lovitz used to say..."It's called AC-TING!!!" Tennent was born to play this role.

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Over the next year, the show gained it's footing & delivered some really good episodes (powered by Tennant & companion Billie Piper's chemistry). They brought back classic Doctor Who villains like The Daleks & The Cybermen. Then, Piper decides to leave the show. Just when it was hitting it's stride.

It was barely a stumble.

The season currently showing on SciFi has been the best yet. Now paired with Freema Agyeman, Tennant made the role his own. Episodes "Human Nature/The Family of Blood (a two parter)" and "Blink" are EXCELLENT examples of how well acted & well written this show is. If you aren't currently watching it...give it a try.

Sure there is a lot of back story but they do a good job of filling in the uninitiated. The show is winding down the current season but it reruns frequently. Plus, in a world where "re-imagining" is ignoring the source material...it's nice to find a show that embraces it's rich history. The previous two seasons are on display on both BBC America & PBS. They are also available on DVD.

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You won't be sorry.

Flash! Ahhh-ahhh! Savior of...um...well...hmm...

Flash Gordon. A multi-media, multi-generational phenomenon. Well...at least he used to be.

A product of the funny pages in the late 30s, Flash was well-written & beautifully drawn by Alex Raymond. If you've never seen these strips, check em out. They are a four color window into the Depression with sharp allegories to the era. The chief villain, Ming the Merciless, was a dictator in the mold of the real-life growing threat of Adolf Hitler. Lavishly drawn, it was easily translated to the big screen in a series of Saturday morning serials starring Buster Crabbe.

For all their simplistic effects & ham-handed dialogue, the serials are fun to watch and, for the most part, exciting (which is the point behind these cliffhangers in general). There were also radio serials. In the days before TV, these were all the rage. From what my father has told me, he & his friends raced home to hear the latest adventures of the Lone Ranger, Superman and, yes, Flash Gordon. It's a lot like it was depicted in A Christmas Story with Ralphie & his devotion to the similar comics to radio show Little Orphan Annie.

As a kid in the 70s, I listened to a local radio station that broadcast various radio shows from the 30s & 40s as a cheap way of filling evening airtime. I was hooked. It was theater of the mind. It's my firm belief that, in those pre-Star Wars days, these dramas helped me build and cultivate a vivid imagination that aids me to this day in my career as a graphic designer.

Next, there were two, practically simultaneous versions. One was a well done Filmation Cartoon that used elements from all previous incarnations. It was presented in a Saturday Cliffhanger style. I recently picked these up on DVD and they hold up quite well (although skip the second season when a cute baby dragon was added for the "awwww factor".)

The second and most indelible of all is Dino DeLaurentis' 1980 adaptation. Cheesy (in a "we did it in our basement" effects style), Funny (both intentionally & unintentionally) and bizarre (thanks to the over the top "score" by Queen). Bad acting, Ham acting and, occasionally no acting, this movie was panned at the time and died...uh...mercilessly at the box office.

I loved it. Not because it was a great piece of art but probably because, even then, I appreciated the camp aspect. There are numerous filmed examples of camp such as Marx Brothers movies, Monty Python or the TV show Green Acres, But, arguably camp was not as finely executed as it was in the 1966 Adam West Batman series. The perfect blend of daring do & tongue in cheek. The show's script supervisor was a seasoned TV writer named Lorenzo Semple, Jr. Semple used the opportunity to run amuk using his imagination & bizarre sense of humor to bring about a unique and hilarious spin on the subject matter.

Why is this relevant? The writer of Flash Gordon was one Lorenzo Semple, Jr. The difference is...the producers of Batman knew about camp. I'm not entirely sure DeLaurentis got the memo. Either way...the movie left an impression on me. One that is apparently shared since Flash has grown in it's status as a cult classic. Deservedly so.

So what brought this whole subject up? As mentioned before, my mind is a microcosm of strange facts, irrelevant trivia and sarcasm. It's a place cartoon characters and political figure meet for happy hour. But, for once, I'm not directly to blame for this diatribe. If you want to blame someone...blame the Sci-Fi channel.

Recently, Sci-Fi premiered a...cough cough...re-imagining of Flash Gordon. How can something with such a great and storied history be condensed into such a boring and pointless show? The acting makes the 1980 movie look Oscar-worthy. Flash is bland, Dale is annoying and Zarkov looks like they found him at the local DeVry campus . Additionally, the villain should be re-named Ming the Mildly Annoyed. The guy looks like an out of work Golf Pro. He's a sinister as a can of Beeferoni.

No Hawkmen. No Lionmen. Not even a stinkin' Lizardman! No visible link to anything from the rich history of the character. The show could be called Ted Gordon. There's no...um...Flash. The show just stinks. The promos even use the Queen theme song to lead one to believe the two adaptations are related. Not so.

Attention all Film & TV producers: Anytime something is "re-imagined" you strip away most if not all of what make the character or property appealing. Occasionally, this can work (see: Battlestar Galactica ) but usually it fails miserably (see: well...pretty much every other re-imagining). Things can be updated with subtle changes but once you excise major elements willy nilly...you make something unrecognizable to existing fans. This is why, say James Bond can't be re-imagined as a woman. Ian Fleming created a specific character. Bond's success is based on the template Fleming created. If you want a lady spy...create something new. The same with Flash Gordon. You want to make some hodge podge, inter-dimensional sci fi saga. Use your own characters. Leave Raymond's Space Adventurer out of it.


Don't make me get the bore worms...

A Lament of the Summer Blockbuster...

I am a fan of the cinema. I always have been. I like all genres. Comedy, Sci-Fi, Action, even the occasional Romantic Comedy. I also have a soft spot for B-movies (often discussed at the fun & educational http://b-moviecat.blogspot.com/).

I vividly recall the days when I anxiously awaited the new releases. I'd scan the papers & TV for upcoming movies like a junkie needing a fix.

Summers like 1981, when I stood in line to see Raiders, Superman II, Stripes, Clash of the Titans...

Or 1989 with Batman, Indiana Jones & the Last Crusade, Lethal Weapon II, License To Kill ...even Ghostbusters II and Star Trek V (okay...those two I'd regret).

But it's been some time that I was compelled to the theater more than once in a given few months. Some would say...I'd grown up. Those that would say that, obviously don't know me very well. Maybe my tastes have changed? Ah...no. At 40 years old, I sit in my office looking across the room at a Batman mask circa 1966, a Klingon Bird of Prey and a football signed by the Atlanta Falcons. If anything...I'm regressing. So, the next guess would be...it's gotta be the movies.

So, Ok then ...Maybe it's the type of film. Sure, I've tried to get into art films. However, I found Lost in Translation ironically hard to follow. Punchdrunk Love gave me a headache for what seemed like days. I like parts of Magnolia/Royal Tenenbaums/Life Aquatic but, overall, just not my thing. The list could go on...

Truth be told...I have been and always will be a "Popcorn" movie kind of guy. There's always plenty of those movies. Well...at least there used to be. Movies like the ones from my childhood (before the dawn of the home VCR). Ones like The Mysterious Monsters , Godzilla VS Megalon or The Private Eyes. Throwaway movies like those usually go straight to video now. Sadly.

So, it's back to the Summer Blockbuster. They seem to get bigger and bigger...yet, the excitement is missing. I tried to muster up enthusiasm for a number of movies throughout the past few years...The Phantom Menace, Spider-Man(s), Superman Returns...While these all were commercially successful movies and I enjoyed them, they didn't leave me with the sense of excitement before seeing it or the sense of wonder after seeing them that I experienced in years past. There could be a number of issues but, I think I've narrowed it down.

It's CGI. As I've mentioned in previous posts, I'm becoming less & less of a fan. With CGI anything & everything is possible. Filmmakers no longer struggle to translate the page to the screen. Gone is the technically imperfect film of days gone by. It's similar to an article I read regarding photography. No longer do photo albums display the red-eye, occasionally blurry photos of old. Digital cameras have all but erased the imperfect photo. The same can be said for CGI. Sure, some optical shops are better than others. There are a number of examples of poor CGI. However, it's the practice as a whole & not it's individual execution that is at issue for me. The magic of old seems to have been replaced with micro processors & An Adobe Suite.

Imagine, if you will, Richard Donner taking on the first Superman film in 1976. He accepted the job without a clue as to what technique to use to make the man in the cape fly. But, with time & a number of creative minds, the feat was accomplished. Was every optical effect flawless? No. But, I will compare it to the CGI-laden Superman Returns and the latter pales by comparison. This story and many like them are often reflected in DVD commentaries or documentaries. I own at least a couple dozen where the effects supervisor starts out an overview by saying "Now, remember, these were the days before CGI...".

As with all blogs, I sure some of you will disagree. And, I will allow that CGI should have a place in film. But, in the modern world where James Bond's car can actually become INVISIBLE and Die Hard IV's John McClane can seemingly defy gravity, I'd say it's time to dial it back a bit and use it sparingly.

The complete irony of this piece is that I make my living as a Graphic Designer. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you. Oh well...It's just a case of "do as I say & not as I do". That works, right?

Hopefully, one day, the magic will return. One can hope....

It's an honor just to be denigrated...errr...nominated.

I recently stumbled across an online article: http://www.petitiononline.com/Kretch07/petition.html regarding a petition for getting the Monkees into the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame. It got me to thinking. Dangerous...to be sure.

But I gotta say...What's the hold up?

Now granted, The Hall of Fame is a guilded dog & pony show. A chance for a board room of wannabes to sit around and pat themselves on the back for "rewarding" bands that they deem worthy. What's the criteria? How are bands or acts chosen over others? Is there lottery system or, perhaps, a huge hat? I'd like to think that there's a giant roulette wheel. But...I digress....

The Monkees have always been a particular favorite of mine. The group had many hits that are as recognizable today as they were in the 60s. Sure, there's the oft-printed "they didn't play their own instruments" diatribe which has a sliver of truth to it. When initially hired to be on the TV show, Micky, Davy, Mike & Peter were not given the opportunity to play on the groups' first two albums. Understandable since, not only were they recording tracks for albums, making personal appearances and promoting an uncharted marketing territory, they were also starring in a weekly TV show. Kinda time consuming dontcha think? They also didn't have the luxury of calling the shots. They were originally hired to do a job. It could easily have failed. But, the right elements were put into place and it succeeded.

Many music snobs & pundits derided the "manufactured" element of the bands origins to detract from their success. Yet, Steve Stills, Danny Hutton (of Three Dog Night) and countless as yet undiscovered musicians auditioned for the show. There is also the cries of "foul' with the group having a weekly venue to promote it's next single. However, it's ignored that the first single "Last Train To Clarksville" found itself at #1 on the charts before the show even debuted. How about some of the acts found worthy for Hall induction: Del Shannon? Gene Pitney? Patti Smith? Sure, each of these acts certainly have merit and accolades. But what makes them more worthy than the Monkees? Certainly none of those have had the number of hits the Monkees have. But perhaps chart success is irrelevant. Let's try & play devil's advocate:

• Didn't play on their first two albums. Session musicians were used on albums by The Mamas & The Papas, Simon & Garfunkel, The Beach Boys and The Byrds. A number of those same musicians worked on the Monkees first two albums.

• They were hired as actors and didn't "pay their dues". Nesmith & Tork both worked the folk circuit. The same one traveled by The Lovin Spoonful, Mama Cass and other Hall-approved artists.



• They didn't write their songs. Nesmith penned songs for both albums including Mary Mary which was covered years later by Run DMC. Other songs on the albums were written by Brill Building writing teams like Mann/Weil, Goffin/King and up and coming songwriters Boyce & Hart and Neil Diamond. Songs by these writers were also recorded by The Byrds, The Animals & the aforementioned Gene Pitney. From the Monkees' Third album on, the band members included more self penned content.



• They were fake Beatles. So were a number of other acts of the period. Every band copied what was successful. But, eventually, the Monkees branched off and experimented with their own ideas. The Beatles even viewed the Monkees as contemporaries. Nesmith was an in-studio guest of John Lennon's during the recording of Sgt. Pepper.
  


• They have no legacy. You mean other than songs that are still played 40 plus years later? Songs covered by Hall darlings like the Sex Pistols. How their contributions to the video music medium is still felt today? Nesmith, years later, was integral in the creation of MTV. This was a direct result of his experience creating promo clips for songs on the Monkees TV show. How about the marriage and expansion of music business and mass marketing? The use of video screens at a concert venue? The Monkees were one of the pioneers of the practice. And, there's also credit for being one of the first bands to use the Moog.

I'm sure there's more but I have the feeling that the group could have cured the plague but, since they didn't play on two of their nine 60s albums, they are banished by the "Rock Gods". As I said...a guilded Dog & Pony show. So, who cares? I'm sure Paul McCartney doesn't start each day by staring lovingly at the Hall induction bauble (what is it? a trophy? Plaque? Kazoo?). Plus, if by some miracle they did get inducted, Nesmith would bollocks it up by rambling on about the insanity of their induction. Then, Dolenz can make his over-used analogy to Star Trek actors becoming astronauts. Sigh. Hmmm...perhaps, things ARE just fine without their induction.

All the hullaballoo aside, For those out there who have discounted this band as "manufactured"or the 60s version of Backstreet Boys/N'Sync/American Idol, pick up their third album Headquarters (quite possibly one of the best garage band albums ever) or their fourth, Pisces, Aquarius, Capricorn and Jones, Ltd. (a more polished and produced effort). You may have to re-evaluate your opinion.

And, for those who seek to engage in fruitless pursuits, sign the online petition for the Monkees induction: httpp://www.petitiononline.com/monkees1/petition.html. Hey...Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys signed it!

Who knows...Maybe a boardroom filled with self important wannabes can be swayed.

I'm just not holding my breath.

The Ballad of the Six Foot Rooster & The British Secret Service

Where to begin...

hmmm....

As it has been astutely said to me at one time or another, I retain in my head volumes of useless information. To be honest...there is a lot off stuff up there. In my minds' eye, I see it as one of those classic delis or your favorite laundromat. You know... where you take a number and wait till you're called. It's like that...only with cartoon folk, pop stars and movie characters.

And beer. There's gotta be beer.

A famous man once said..."I'd rather know a little about a lot of things than a lot a bout a few things." Who said that? It might have been me. Well...me or Foghorn Leghorn. I get the two of us mixed up sometimes. I can count the times, on at least one hand, that I've been confused with a 6 foot cartoon rooster. It happens.

When all else fails...start with what's at the front of the line...

Bond. James Bond.

For those who don't know, I'm a bit of an aficionado. I've seen the all movies (official and unofficial) multiple times, read most of the books (all of the Fleming, some of the Gardner)...you know...the usual fanboy schtick. The reason Bond is at the front of the line is due to the recent film Casino Royale. Excellent film. Very well done. Almost surprisingly so. Surprisingly, because it was made by the same folks who made the previous entry in the series Die Another Day. This film is my least favorite of all Bonds. A lot of peeople like this movie because they think it represents what Bond is. Not so. True, It starts out promising by trying to humanize Bond, then makes him a supporting character in his own movie. There's also waaay too much CGI. And don't get me started on the invisible car. I can suspend disbelief only so far. I...I...

See what I mean...fanboy.

Sigh.

However, for those who are interested...I know you're out there...Here is my list of best to worst of the Bond films:

• 1. Goldfinger-Just the right amount of gadgets, a great villain & Connery has hit his stride. Plus, Oddjob's lethal Bowler, a dead girl painted gold and the ever present Pussy Galore. Created the formula that most films after copied in one way or another.

• 2. From Russia With Love-Very much like the book. A time capsule of the Cold War. Plus...Rosa Klebb has a knife...IN HER SHOE!!! Genius! Plus Robert Shaw before he chased sharks and, in my opinion, the hottest of all Bond girls.

• 3. On Her Majesty's Secret Service-Also like the book. The only outing of George Lazenby (who actually does quite well), Diana Rigg (yes, please.), Telly Savalas and a huge downer ending. What's not to love? Also, this was the book my mother was reading while in the hospital hatching yours truly. Or was that Foghorn? Dammit!

• 4. Dr. No- a simple film. Not too flashy or fantastic. Bond is little more than a Private Eye in this one. Well crafted and iconic. Plus...there's Ursula Andress....

• 5. Casino Royale-Very much in the spirit of the Fleming books. More than most of the 21 "official" films. Bond was never a "pretty boy". I knew there was an anti-Craig groundswell before the film came out but I don't usually buy into those things. It was most likely started by Brosnan's press agent. I also like how, at the end, Bond earned his theme musc. Where the producers go from here is the worrisome issue.

• 6. Thunderball- Very large movie. Overly so at times but still a good Connery film. The Pacing has always been a problem for me. But it is beautifully filmed and well executed. Plus, in the pre-credits sequence, Bond has one of those cool Bell/Howell Jet Packs. When I was a kid, I thought we'd all have one of those by the year 2000. Ah, youth...

• 7. You Only Live Twice-Also large. Both in plot and scope. But I still get chills when the ninjas start descending from the volcano top. Also great wide angle fight scene on a rooftop. Crazy ambitious. Would have passed Thunderball if not for Donald Pleasence's weak Blofeld.

• 8. Live and Let Die-Not the world's most P.C. movie but no worse than Shaft or Scream Blacula Scream. Loved it when I was a kid. Geoffrey Holder's Samedi character scared the bejesus out of me. Still can't beat the McCartney theme, though.

• 9. The Spy Who Loved Me- Nice movie. Essentially the same plot as You Only Live Twice. Only without Blofeld. Painfully 70s but very solid. The Jaws character is one of the best henchman since Oddjob in Goldfinger. Really can't stand the Hamlish music, though. Also the first Bond I saw in a theater.

• 10. For Your Eyes Only- Solid Moore outing. Certainly one of his best. He's almost menacing in this. Almost. Of course, as we al know, he was evolving into the wise-cracking, gay uncle Bond.

• 11. The Living Daylights- A pretty much cookie cutter Bond. Written for Moore but, thankfully, he retired before embarassing himself much...uh...more. I like Dalton in the role. Although, I've been known to say that, at times, he looks like he's solving complex math problems in his head. Still, he didn't swagger which was certainly welcome.

• 12. The Man With The Golden Gun-It's grown on me over the years. The flying AMC Matador is a bit much. Plus, a henchman is defeated by locking him in a suitcase. Licence to Kill, indeed. More like License to mildly inconvenience. But, there are far worse entries. Trust me.

• 13. The World Is Not Enough- In my opinion, the best Brosnan Bond. A bit predictable but it has a killer extended pre-credit sequence & a solid cast. Kinda. Would have scored MUCH higher had we not been asked to accept Denise Richards as a scientist named Christmas Jones. The flying Matador was more believable.

• 14. Tomorrow Never Dies- Also a good Brosnan Bond. Some nice action scenes & stunt work. Comes a little close to making Bond a supporting character. Almost. Brosnan becomes more comfortable in the role for sure.

• 15. Goldeneye-Probably a little more solid than the two listed above but takes a few steps back for a HORRIBLE score by Eric Serra. Fingernails on a chalkboard bad. He avoided the Bond music theme like the plague (save for a few cues played on, of all things, the timpani). Another, uncredited composer had to come in & insert the theme into the tank chase. You gotta respect the history, man!

• 16. License to Kill- Bond goes Miami Vice. Promising revenge plot gets bogged down in pedestrian mid 80s trappings. Originally named the much cooler License Revoked but suffered a name change because American test groups had no idea what 'Revoked' meant. Let's hear it for the U.S. Education system!

• 17. Diamonds Are Forever-Connery's worst. The man is sleep-walking through most of it. The original "Show Me The Money" project. In addition, Charles Gray (later in Rocky Horror) as Blofeld makes the "Where's The Beef" Lady look menacing.

• 18. Moonraker-Bond in Space. Yeah. That makes sense. One of those that was good when I was a kid but is now painful to watch. Plus, writers try waaay too hard to be clever naming the Female protagonist Holly Goodhead. Also, Richard Kiel's Jaws character returns so he can become a nice guy. Awwww.....

• 19. Octopussy- Text book example of how to make a racy sounding movie as boring as Championship Solitare on ESPN 8 (The Ocho). Bond hides from the bad guys by dressing as...a circus clown! Plus, Moore is really starting to show his age. Which leads us to...

• 20. View To A Kill - Which should have been titled A group of stuntmen and, occasionally in closeup, Roger Moore as James Bond 007 in View To A Kill. Christopher Walken chews up scenery while Tanya Roberts tries not to bump into things. Used to be the absolute worst. Until...

• 21. Die Another Day- A paint by numbers on how NOT to do Bond. To recap what I stated previously: 1) Start out humanizing Bond by capturing & torturing him, 2) Create a convoluted plot, 3) Bring in a Big Star ( Halle Berry...really?) to relegate Bond to a Supporting character in his own movie, 4) Throw in a building made competely of ice (no hair dryers, please), 5) When written into a corner...create an invisible car. (Looks like someone attended Pablo's Screen Writing school & Taco Emporium) and 6) Top it off with a horrible theme song by Madonna that sounds like your CD is scratched and stuck in the player. Plus CGI abounds. So not what a Bond films should be. It's more like a video game. A bad video game. Bond for the A.D.D. generation. Up until Casino Royale, it was the highest grossing Bond film. Luckily, someone decided it was too over the top.
  

Obvious preferential treatment given to Connery. Such is the case when you are raised on Roger Moore as Bond and later find out that, with all apologies to Carly Simon, Somebody DOES do it better.

So there you have it. Geekdom rejoice! Dance in the streets if you must. If you disagree, fine. It's a point of view. But, you will always know, in your heart of hearts, that I'm right.

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Or, at least Foghorn is.

Dear Penthouse forum...You'll never believe what happened to me...

Okay...

First, I get locked out, for no apparent reason mind you, of posting privileges on ye old blogspot. Keep in mind that I've fought the inclination to start a blog. It's not that I don't have things to say. Sure I do. I just preferred to do it on someone else's blog. The White Whale was a particular favorite to display my wit and smarminess. I was happy just popping up intermittently, saying something, most likely off topic and moving along. No harm...no foul. But, nooooo. The wise folks at Google have given me the Heisman.

My mind is , on a good day, a hodgepodge of movie quotes, obscure songs & a heaping helping of sarcasm. Don't ask about the bad days. They're more like a Warner Brothers cartoon after a weekend bender.

So here it is, in all it's glory.

Basically, I fought the blogosphere and the blogosphere won.

So... In a thrilling turn of events, the Blog of Doob is now LIVE!!

I can't say with what frequency or determination I will update said blog. But, that's kind of the point, huh? Go where the wind or the endorphins take me.

Aint the internet a gas?